April 4th, 2011

over the shoulder

kissing my career goodbye?

Today a room full of "artists" found out what happens when the group facilitator brings the severely depressed model the music that she loves most in the world. Then they got to see what happens when somebody complains about the music and makes them turn it off. Some people really need to understand that the most important person in the room is the naked person.

I try to be as ego-free as a bowl of fruit when I'm working and Ido everything I can to keep peace in the studio, including bringing my laptop & listening to headphones. Tonight I made a point of calling Verizon & turning on my 3G hotspot. Which didn't work in the studio.And the unsecured" wifi network is password protected. Or I'd have been listening to Moonalice, live.

But really, I try as often as possible not to inflict the Horrible Noisy Grateful Dead on people but ONE NIGHT in 17 YEARS I really NEEDED it, the one night in 17 years someone was thoughtful enough to bring me the music I love more than anything else, on a night I'm technically too depressed to work, and I am suddenly Smiling and Cheerful, that's when the least talented person has to blow it all and make them turn off the music.

I've probably lost that job now. Really, what's $50 a week good for?

You want to go to a life drawing group? remember two things

the NAKED person dictates the ambient temperature of the room

the NAKED person gets to listen to music she likes

Which is why I want to faciiltate my own group. Because in MY group, the MODEL comes First.

And yes, if you hadn't noticed, I am seriously, debilitatingly depressed. Which is as hard for people to accept as autism is. Even harder.